Musings

- Janeane Garofalo's character is exactly what Chloe would be like if she were in any way amusing or likeable. I once said there was no room for humor on 24, but you have proven me wrong, Janeane. You'll be dead in about four episodes.

- Slumdog Millionaire won one of those Golden Ball things in every category it was nominated, including best drama. Suck it, movies I didn't see! Revolutionary Road? More like "Revolutionary Choad". The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? More like "The Curious Face of Benjamin Butt-on". The Reader? More like "What the fuck is The Reader?"

- I don't really have a third musing. What to do? Hmmm...


- AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Persona 4 Review - Murder!! (and penis monsters)

WARNING: This game is rated M for Mature and should only be played by persons over the age of 17. According to the back of the box, reasons for this include:

Alcohol Reference
Animated Blood
Language
Partial Nudity
Sexual Themes
Violence

Now, I don't wanna be the one to tell the fine folks over at the Entertainment Software Rating Board how to do their jobs, but I would have also included the following descriptors:

Massive Gender Confusion
Monster Strippers
Statutory Rape
The Gayest Level Ever Seen In A Video Game

And... I can't think of anything else.


Oh yeah, the penis monster.

Anyhoo, beneath the penis monsters and whatnot lies a good, old-fashioned murder mystery. You see, people are getting kidnapped and thrown into TVs. Oh yeah, there's a world inside the TV. It's all foggy in there. And then the fog moves from the TV world to the real world and the person in the TV dies. And the body gets sent to the real world. Oh, and the murderer's next victim shows up on TV before they get kidnapped. And after. But only when it's raining outside. And only at midnight. And the world in the TV is formed by the people who go there. Their suppressed thoughts and feelings take on a physical form, you see. Uh, what else? There's a big talking stuffed bear going through an identity crisis.

So for half of the game, you're hanging around your small little town, making friends and girlfriends (am I right, playa?) and having a gay old time. That is, when they're not telling you about their incredibly depressing lives.

"Hmmm, should I hang out with the promiscuous teen idol who probably wants to bang me, or should I go swallow razorblades with the guy whose sister just got murdered? THIS IS QUITE THE PUZZLER." -- Me

And for the other half of the game, you go fight monsters and rescue people who get thrown into the TV world. And you get to create your own monsters to fight those monsters. It's kinda like Pokemon but with more penises.


VERDICT: 10 out of 10