He has a great personality though.The producers of the game studied photos of car crash victims in order to make the corpses more realistic. HELL YES, I'M READY FOR SOME FUN.
WARNING: If your objective is to have fun, do not select Hard Mode. I selected Hard Mode because I am a true man, and I spent the next 20-30 hours getting torn asunder. See, your character has this thick suit and helmet on while everyone else on the ship is dressed in their PJs. You may be confused by this at first, but as you play through the game, you realize it's because your body seems to have been hastily constructed out of K'NEX. And whenever you die, the camera remains intensely focused on your crotch for some reason. At least your penis is still intact!
Don't expect the enemies to take it easy on you just because you're made of graham crackers. These are in fact some of the most diabolically migraine-inducing enemies you may ever encounter. Let's take a look at my five most hated.
WARNING: If your objective is to have fun, do not select Hard Mode. I selected Hard Mode because I am a true man, and I spent the next 20-30 hours getting torn asunder. See, your character has this thick suit and helmet on while everyone else on the ship is dressed in their PJs. You may be confused by this at first, but as you play through the game, you realize it's because your body seems to have been hastily constructed out of K'NEX. And whenever you die, the camera remains intensely focused on your crotch for some reason. At least your penis is still intact!
Don't expect the enemies to take it easy on you just because you're made of graham crackers. These are in fact some of the most diabolically migraine-inducing enemies you may ever encounter. Let's take a look at my five most hated.
#5 - Lurkers AKA Tentacle Babies
Yes, you shoot the hell out of some dead babies; let's try and get past it. These little tykes climb on the walls and ceiling and shoot tentacle missiles at you. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BABIES ON THIS SHIP?!
#4 - Brutes AKA Big-Ass Mofos
Run. Run away now.
Fun game though.
VERDICT: 8 out of 10
Yes, you shoot the hell out of some dead babies; let's try and get past it. These little tykes climb on the walls and ceiling and shoot tentacle missiles at you. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BABIES ON THIS SHIP?!
#4 - Brutes AKA Big-Ass Mofos
Run. Run away now.
#3 - Dividers AKA Prepare for the Wackness
These dudes aren't anything special until you shoot them a few times. Then they divide. Oh, how they divide. You don't know fear until you've been attacked by a disembodied pair of legs. And if the head gets a hold of you, it'll rip your own head off and take its place. Fine, enjoy my body. We'll see how you like my brittle bones.
These dudes aren't anything special until you shoot them a few times. Then they divide. Oh, how they divide. You don't know fear until you've been attacked by a disembodied pair of legs. And if the head gets a hold of you, it'll rip your own head off and take its place. Fine, enjoy my body. We'll see how you like my brittle bones.
#2 - Infectors AKA Game Ruiners
Besides being ridiculously gross-looking, fighting these things isn't all that bad. Sure, they can latch onto dead bodies and turn them into monsters, but there's a simple way to prevent this from ever happening. Every ten seconds of playing the game, you'll find a dead body. Stomp it into a jelly. "THE INFECTORS ARE COMING!" I would often scream hysterically, as my boot came down on their heads again and again. Turns out there are only like four infectors in the game.
Besides being ridiculously gross-looking, fighting these things isn't all that bad. Sure, they can latch onto dead bodies and turn them into monsters, but there's a simple way to prevent this from ever happening. Every ten seconds of playing the game, you'll find a dead body. Stomp it into a jelly. "THE INFECTORS ARE COMING!" I would often scream hysterically, as my boot came down on their heads again and again. Turns out there are only like four infectors in the game.
#1 - Guardians AKA Shut The Hell Up
When you come across one of these, it'll start screaming at you. Go ahead and shit your pants now. These guys have gaping holes where you wish their stomachs would be. They shoot little dudes out of their stomachs, and those dudes shoot missiles at you. If you get too close to the guardian, a tenatacle will rocket out of its stomach hole and tear your head off. You have to shoot off all six of its tentacles which are constantly moving around, while also dealing with the little missile dudes and, oh yeah, THE MOTHERFUCKING SCREAMING.
Fun game though.
VERDICT: 8 out of 10
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